Yes, Dominick.
What a good mama.
Here, Dominick.
= yuck.
Dominick.
Good boy.
Thank you, Dominick.
Watch out, Dominick.
You're gonna get it.
There, poor Dominick.
, say amen.
Amen.
Open the mouth, Dominick.
Open, open.
Bravo, Dominick.
You say amen.
Amen.
Bravo, Dominick.
Amen.
Sal, got one for me?
You're my favorite cousin, sal.
Old Dell Humphrey.
Hail Mary, full of grace, the lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the food of thy womb, Jesus.
Hail Mary, full of grace, the lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed if the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Glory be to the father and to the son
and to the holy spirit.
In the name of the father and of the son
and of the holy spirit.
Thank you, father.
You're welcome, Dominick.
He's in heaven now.
He's playing his tuba for the angels.
Nunzi.
Oh, it's beautiful.
Yes.
Remember?
That's what I taped at the fiesta di Santa antonia.
= it's so beautiful.
It's so beautiful.
Yes, Mary, very beautiful.
Dominick, get your aunt a glass of water.
Oh, you son of a bitch!
You son of a bitch!
It's your sister, antoinette.
We just calmed my mother down.
Now she's gotta start it all over again.
= you son of a bitch.
You son of a bitch!
How many times did they tell you lose weight?
Lose weight!
Oh, god, why didn't you listen?
You could have been sitting here next to your mother
instead of laying in this box.
Sal.
He looks good, zi Marie.
He looks good.
Oh, sal.
I'm gonna miss you so much.
You son of a bitch!
How could you do this to us?
Oh, dommy.
Oh, dommy, he was my favorite cousin.
He was so good.
Oh, dom, he was so good.
Oh, where are you, my sweet cousin?
Where the hell are you?
He's dead.
Oh, dommy.
Let me get you a glass of water.
Oh, dommy, you're so good.
You're so good.
You're like Salvatore.
You're such good people.
The good people are the fat people,
and the fat people die young.
You listen to me!
I made an appointment for you with Dr. schwartzman.
= doctor who?
Dr. schwartzman, the diet doctor.
Where the hell did I put that piece of paper?
Wait.
Here, Dr. schwartzman, Thursday, 10:30,
650 east 65th street.
Okay.
Dommy, listen to me.
You can't let it go like sal did.
He had an appointment with schwartzman last Monday.
He didn't go.
He went and had a pizza instead.
Probably sausage.
That was sal's favorite.
Oh, poor sal.
He'll never eat apizza again.
Oh, poor sal.
How he loved apizza.
Oh, god!
How I loved him.
= t loved him too.
He was like a mother to me.
He always had something on him to eat.
Always.
- Always. - Always.
I'll get you a nice glass of water.
Okay, I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
Okay.
If you would please cast your flowers
into the grave
along with your farewells.
In the name of the father and of the son
and of the holy spirit.
Goodbye, sal.
You had a great life.
Goodbye, sal.
The goddamn box is too big for the hole.
Say goodbye.
Goodbye, cousin sal.
Dommy, sal would have wanted you to have this.
Bye, sal.
No more eggplant parmesan, sal.
Goodbye, my beautiful cousin.
Take me with you, Sally boy!
Take me with you! = throw the flowers.
Throw the flowers.
Vito, throw the flowers.
Sal, sal! = vito!
So long, Sally.
So long, pal.
See ya.
Yeah, zi Marie.
No, we're gonna open the store today.
Ah.
Yeah, me and antoinette.
Yeah, and Frankie.
He's studying.
Frankie's sleeping.
Yeah.
Okay, alright, listen.
Oh, no, no.
You and Lucy, oh, that's nice.
Listen, zi Marie, where's...
Uh, listen
and then I'll see you tonight.
Okay.
All right, zi.
Okay, ciao.
And ciao.
Okay. - Okay.
- Buh-bye. - Bye.
What do you say to a mother who buries a child?
I almost said, "where's sal?"
Oh, god!
I still can't believe he's dead.
Here.
You know something, junior.
You don't know how to run your plate.
You're 32 years old, you don't know how to run your plate.
The omelet is supposed to come out even with the bread.
I told you I don't want all that bread.
You made me too much bread.
You always make me too much bread.
And you don't even dip your bread.
I made the omelet nice and soft in the middle
so you can dip your bread.
Get out of my eggs.
A little bit of hot pepper on it.
Could you stop putting hot pepper on my eggs?
You don't even butter your bread.
Look, no jelly.
Here, this nice jelly antoinette made,
apricot and pineapple.
Oh, nice.
Here.
I told you, I don't want that much bread!
Don't you understand?
I've been telling you that for a hundred years!
You love bread.
Ti don't love bread.
I like bread.
Don't you understand 1 gotta watch my weight?
Didn't you learn anything from Salvatore?
39, the man was!
39 years old and he's dead, dead, dead, dom,
and that killed him!
I'm going to work!
So long, everybody.
I'll see you later.
See you later, junior.
See you later, uncle Frankie.
Get over here!
Or strawberries
with whipped cream and almonds.
You'll find that even old standbys like ham or...
= antoinette!
I'm leaving!
Oh, you're not ready.
Oh, dommy, I'm sorry.
You have to open the shop by yourself this morning.
The son of bitch and kid of mine told his father
he didn't have to go to school this morning.
The teacher gave him off.
The teacher gave him off, and this chooch believed him.
How was I supposed to know?
I thought maybe the teacher felt sorry for him
because he went to the funeral yesterday.
It was convincing.
He made the whole goddamn house late.
Put your laundry over there.
Alright.
=-t can't do it now.
I'll have to do it later.
Ah, you got me!
Anthony, put those guns down and eat!
Come on, the teacher said
I can bring them to school today.
Oh, yeah?
Put them in my room right now.
You heard your mother.
Alright, have a nice day.
Give me a kiss, sweetheart.
Let me see if these are poison.
Mm, they're not.
You can eat them.
Have a nice day.
I'll see you at the store.
Dommy, don't forget, schwartzman, 10:30.
Who?
Oh, but is this guy gabadost.
The diet doctor!
I remember, 10:30.
Ti remember.
Mama Mia, everybody's so dramatic this morning.
Hey, how are you?
Thank you. That's nice.
Thank you very much.
Hello.
Thanks.
I'm sorry about sal.
Oh, thank you.
Hey, two, two.
Mrs. Goodman, I'm here!
Oh, my goodness, Mr. dinapoli.
I'm so glad to see you.
I thought maybe it was you who died.
No, no, I'm very much alive. J j
j figaro, figaro, figaro, figaro j
my god, you are alive.
Was it your sister?
= antoinette?
Never.
It was my cousin, Salvatore.
Salvatore?
My goodness, he was so young.
39.
30.
39.
I'm so sorry, Mr. dinapoli.
He seemed like such a nice fella.
Thank you, Mrs. Goodman.
He was.
Would you like a Danish?
= no.
Well, no, I really shouldn't.
Ah, nah, I'd better not.
Listen, I'll take one.
Now what can I help you with today, Mrs. Goodman?
I need a card for my son in Chicago's birthday.
I have something that's magnificent.
Oh, good.
Magnificent.
Look.
= it looks nice.
Though you are far from your mother's smiles,
though you have gone across the miles,
the leaves may wither and flowers die,
mom will always love you 'cause you're a wonderful guy.
Do you have something plainer?
= plainer?
Yeah, plainer would be better.
= this?
That looks good.
Here, nice.
I miss your warmth.
I miss your grace.
I miss your laugh.
I miss your face.
Happy birthday, son, across the miles.
Oh, Mr. dinapoli.
Maybe you have a plain happy birthday, son.
= over here.
Here you go.
Nice?
That's pretty.
How good it is to be alive and to see the birds and.
That one's just fine.
I'll take it.
I'll put that in a bag for you.
You know, Mr. dinapoli, if you don't mind my saying so,
t think he was a little too fat.
Yeah, the doctor said the same thing.
He should have tried chubby checkers.
The singer?
The diet organization.
They saved my life, Mr. dinapoli.
45 pounds.
= you look wonderful.
= t feel wonderful.
And you look wonderful.
And I feel wonderful, and I'm still losing.
= that's wonderful.
How much?
45 pounds, cents.
45 cents. - 45 pounds?
And three cents for the government.
They even tax birthday cards to your son?
Even that.
Ah, so it's 10 o'clock,
I haven't done a goddamn thing yet.
Hi, antoinette.
You're always so cheerful.
How do you do it?
Hello?
Hello, maluch!
Eight, eight, eight.
Antoinette, you want a number?
Yeah, let me try five, two, two, Anthony's birthday.
Five, two, two.
Here, this is for both of us.
You'll be able to get your other lens soon.
Well, I wanna get my teeth first,
then I'll get my other lens.
Okay.
So long, maluch. Goodbye, maluch.
Oh, ,
look how much cash I left in this register.
I ran out so goddamn fast last week.
I hope I never have to live through last week
as long as I live.
Would you like a Danish?
Nice and fresh.
= get outta here.
My breakfast is sitting right here.
Dom!
What?
Oh, I'm not eating it.
I'm just smelling it.
Where's the.
I'll get it.
You gotta go to schwartzman.
I forgot.
= you son of a bitch.
Again, you forgot!
I forgot.
Fanqgul, you forgot.
You forgot on purpose, you forgot!
I swear to god, I forgot.
How could you forget?
You son of a bitch!
You're gonna be six feet under just like sal.
Oh, poor sal.
Oh, god.
Don't die, will you?
Hey, I'm never gonna die.
Please, you look so tired lately.
No, I'm not tired.
You're goddamn tired.
Honest, I'm not tired.
What are you talking about, tired?
Hey.
Put that down.
Get outta here!
Dommy.
What's the matter?
Dommy, sit down, sit down.
Dommy, do you have any pain anywhere?
= no.
You see, 1 told you you were tired.
You can't even get tired around this woman.
Here.
= oh.
= you feel better?
Yeah.
What's the name of that diet doctor?
= schwartzman.
Good morning.
I have a 10:30 appointment with doctor...
= schwartzman.
Right.
= hello.
You must be Dominick Anthony dinapoli.
Right.
Yes, your sister made the appointment.
Right.
Would you fill out these forms, please?
I brought some food for everybody, very nice, balducci's.
Thank you.
= thanks.
Have you had hemorrhoids recently?
Not recently, no.
Have you had diarrhea recently?
Not recently.
Have you had constipation recently?
Not recently.
Say ah.
Ah.
Okay, stop.
Stop.
These are your dos and these are your do-nots.
Do broil all your meats.
Do drink eight glasses of water a day.
Do eat all the fresh green vegetables you want.
Do drink two glasses of non-fat milk a day.
Do not drink any alcoholic beverages.
Do not drink soda pop.
Do not drink ades or punches.
Do not eat butter, margarine, oils, lard or fat of any kind.
Do not eat fried foods.
Do not eat bread.
Do not eat bananas, grapes, watermelon
or any fruit other than grapefruit or cantaloupe.
Do not eat canned fruits.
Do not eat dried fruits.
Do not eat noodles.
Do not eat spaghetti or macaroni of any kind.
Do not eat pizza.
Do not eat popcorn, potato chips or pretzels.
Do not eat puddings or custards.
Do not eat ice cream, frozen custard or frozen yogurt.
Do not eat cookies, pies, cakes,
pancakes, waffles or any baked goods.
Do not eat chocolate, caramel, fudge, nougat, nuts.
Do not eat syrup, honey
or sugar of any kind. = dinner!
Lasagna for you.
Broiled chicken and Kale and non-fat milk for me, no bread.
Come on, eat.
I couldn't believe
the garbage on my route today.
It was hiding the buildings.
Jesus, Mary and Joseph, help me.
Papa once made a sculpture out of an old typewriter
he found on one of the trucks.
Mama loved it.
It looked like the Madonna and child.
This is great lasagna.
How's your Kale?
Thrilling.
Want some bread?
One piece.
In case you change your mind.
A dozen chocolate eclairs,
a dozen cream puffs, and a dozen chocolate cupcakes.
66.
Here you go.
I want six brioche, six croissants,
one double fudge marble cake, and two cans of buttercream.
I want a strawberry cheesecake,
a dozen brownies and donuts, and a banana nut palm cake.
I want the buttercream and...
69.
69!
69, 69.
70.
Yeah, I want six lemon custard eclairs,
six whipped cream eclairs, 12 napoleons.
A pineapple upside down cake,
and give me two dozen wild strawberry cookies.
I want seven caramel cupcakes.
Yeah, fudge marble.
And could you push the whipped cream on there.
Ice cream roll, cream rolls,
mixed flavors.
I just want two lemon custard eclairs.
Half a gallon of butter pecan ice cream and a box of...
83.
Yeah, Sam.
You got Anthony's birthday cake?
Neapolitan ice cream cake, right, dommy?
Dommy?
Yeah, I'll be right down.
Oh, dommy, thank you.
Yeah, I bought you bread.
Thank you.
Here, blow up these balloons.
Okay.
You ate the ony!
Well?
= let me think.
Go over to sutter's and get another piece of cake,
something, anything.
Maybe there's an ice cream cake,
something with happy birthday already.
Don't give him any money!
I got it.
What are you gonna do with that cake?
This?
Okay. Okay!
Chubby checkers is a group of fat people,
and you have to learn to say the word fat
fat.
You mustn't be afraid of the word.
Fat.
= we discuss our fatness.
We ask for strength, and the best part of it
is they give you people to help you,
a checker, a chubby checker.
Get it?
Someone checks on you.
You can call him up
anytime you feel yourself on the verge of a binge.
= oh.
They help you get through your binge.
= hmm.
I'll go.
= Mrs. Goodman.
Yeah.
Maybe you could be my checker.
Oh, no, no.
I'll be there with you at your first meeting.
= uh-huh.
But a man has to have a man checker,
and a woman, a woman checker.
You'd be surprised where people wind up eating
when they're on a binge.
I wouldn't be a bit surprised.
Once, they found this lady passed out in the subway toilet
with the bones of six chickens around her.
It was terrible.
Can I help you?
Oh, yes.
Mrs. Goodman, can I call you later
and get that address and all?
Oh, sure. Mr. dinapoli.
I see the store's getting busy.
Goodbye, Mrs. sosonna.
Goodbye, Mrs. Goodman, and thank you very much.
My pleasure.
It's that little gift shop right around the corner
and right across the street.
And until we get our wrapping paper,
I'm gonna need something to wrap with.
Do you have anything you can show me?
Oh, yes, we have a very large selection.
Antoinette, why don't you help that charming gentleman
and I'll assist this lovely lady.
$1.40.
I'm afraid it's a little too gay.
Too gay.
Okay.
Come again!
Oh, it's too shiny, too gauche.
Oh, gosh.
Too shiny, too gauche.
Don't feel bad.
= no.
It's alright.
- I'm sorry. - I know exactly what you want.
T have the best stuff in the back.
I got it.
She got it.
Would you, would you like to sit down?
Oh, yes.
Oh, here, okay.
Alright.
Thank you.
Nice cup of coffee?
No, thank you.
Ti don't drink coffee.
= no coffee.
Nice fresh milk?
Yeah, thank you.
Yeah?
When.
Alright.
Thank you.
Sesame seed cookie?
No, thank you.
Pignoli cookie?
No, thank you.
Ti don't eat sweets.
You don't?
No, they make me a little nauseous.
They do?
Yes, I have diabetes in my family.
Oh, yeah?
Yes.
My grandmother died of it.
May she rest in peace.
She died?
And they say that one of the first symptoms
is nausea after eating sweets.
They do, they say that.
Yep.
Then you have to take very good care of yourself.
Oh, I do.
You do?
Yeah.
Do you?
= t don't.
= you should.
Oh, I should.
T know I should.
Ti shouldn't have that.
Oh, is there diabetes in your family too?
No, no.
I shouldn't have that because I'm,
I'm stocky, you know, large.
I'm big, you know.
You look like my father.
Oh, yeah?
= t loved him.
You loved your father?
I noticed that you have on your cash register.
Yeah.
Are you catholic?
Yeah.
Are you?
Definitely.
= huh.
= the sacred heart of Jesus.
Would you like to kiss it?
Yeah.
I got it!
How's these?
= oh.
Oh, those are wonderful, wonderful!
The rosy one's exactly like the stuff I ordered.
Oh, good.
God bless you.
Oh, good.
Do you have about 10 rolls of these?
Yes!
Yes, I'll have 'em for you by Wednesday.
I'll bring 'em over myself.
It's the little store right across the street,
right around the corner.
Right, and thank you so much.
I'm so glad
we could help you miss... I'm so glad.
Lydia.
My name is dom.
Dom.
My name is antoinette.
Oh, how do you do, antoinette?
Please come by our store someday.
We have some lovely things.
I will.
Well, thanks again.
= oh.
12:30, Wednesday, will you be there, Lydia?
Oh, ves, I'll be there from now on, dom.
Bye-bye, Lydia.
Watch for the cars!
Lydia.
= oh!
Oh, no.
Oh, dom.
Lydia!
Oh, wait, I'll be right,
oh, please wait.
I know, please.
Oh, oh, my.
Let me help you, please.
This must be heavy.
No, no, I got 'em, I got 'em.
Where do you want 'em?
Oh, please, right behind the counter.
Okay.
Oh, god bless you.
Oh, please, let me help you.
No, I got 'em, I got 'em.
It's okay.
It's alright?
Yes, yes.
Oh, no!
Please, let me help you!
Maybe you could just help me with the ones that fall.
Oh, thank you.
Oh, these are heavy.
You're strong.
= what kind of a store is this?
It's a gift shop, but most of the things are antique.
= oh.
What's that?
That's Jasper.
What?
Jasper.
= oh.
And that?
Tourmaline, and that's Burmese Jade,
and that's apatite, my favorite, and that's marcasite.
You're very smart.
You know all this stuff by heart.
I know what everything in this store is by heart.
This is an 18th century whip rack,
and this is a 17th century foot warmer.
And this is an old bottle for Poland water.
I'm Polish.
Those are two early American cocks.
And these are deco lamps.
And, oh, this is a 19th century candle snuffer outer.
You're Polish?
I'm Italian.
My mother was Italian.
So was mine, and my father, my brother...
= you have a brother?
So do I.
Yeah, my younger brother, Frankie.
= your brother's name is Frankie?
Well, my brother's name is Frankie, and he's also younger.
Mine's a junior.
So is mine.
My father's dead.
= so is mine.
And your mother too?
Yeah.
Yours?
Yeah, dead.
Isn't that something?
Yeah.
Dead.
This is a picture of my family before my mother died,
may she rest in peace.
She died when I was eight, and junior was only four.
Oh, I'm sorry.
My father brought us up until he died.
May he rest in peace.
I'm sorry.
And then I took care of junior by myself
until he went to chef's college.
= I'm...
Chef's college?
He owns a restaurant in Boston now.
A restaurant?
Lydia.
Is there anything else you want me to do
before I go back to the shop?
Well, no, no.
No, thanks.
Thanks for bringing over the paper.
Now let's wind up the evening.
Everybody say it.
T am fat!
I am fat!
Yeah!
You can say it!
Yeah, I can say it!
Fat!
T am fat!
Say it, fat!
Fat!
I am fat!
Fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat!
Fat.
Fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat!
Fat.
Fat, fat, fat, fat, fat, fat!
Fat.
Ungettable.
And these are my chubby checker numbers.
If I go nuts or bananas, you call them.
And what do they do?
They come here.
They check me.
They help me.
They stop me from eating.
See, Sonny loffolotto, Oscar lapidus.
I'm gonna do it this time.
I'm gonna do it this time if it kills me.
Oh, don't say that, kill you.
You'll do it, uncle dom.
Good night.
Good night, uncle Frankie.
Good night, Anthony.
My baby brother, don't give me these keys no matter what.
I'm gonna really need your help, kid,
you and me together, the dinapoli boys.
The dinapoli boys.
Good night, dom!
Good night, junior.
Zi.
10.
Marzipan.
World news tonight.
Remember how hungry you used to be
when you were a kid?
Remember when your mom made her own homemade noodles?
The best tasting...
All the sweet and luscious things
you can bake with strawberries...
No delicacy nowadays.
Manners are dead!
Refinement's a thing of the past.
I'm either king or a breeding bull!
Walnut cake, California walnut pie,
viennese walnut cookies, creamy walnut fudge.
His Italian mother
to taste Italian style shrimp scampi.
She's taking another succulent shrimp...
J not one or two j
j but six great kinds of taste to please
j mozzarella and Romano too j
j melting, bubbling, all the cheeses do
gimme those keys
or I'll blow your nose right off your face.
What?
Dommy.
It's me, junior, your baby brother.
What are you doing?
Nevermind that baby brother shit.
Give me those keys.
Come on, move!
Move. - Okay, I'm moving.
I'm moving.
Put your hands up.
Come on!
I don't believe this.
Higher!
Where are those keys?
Give me those keys.
I don't believe it.
T don't believe it.
Give me those keys!
Give me the keys.
That's Anthony's toy gun.
That ain't real.
You're right.
But this is!
Give me those keys
or I'll cut your throat down to your balls!
Dommy, what's happening to you?
Don't you remember?
Da-da-da-da-da your ass!
Get away from that door!
Give me those keys!
I want those keys!
Give me them!
Ti want them now!
Where are those keys?
Where did you put them?
Give me them!
Ti swear to god!
Give me those keys!
I'll up your ass!
Give me those keys!
Look at yourself!
Oh, junior.
Oh, my god.
Oh, boy.
You hold a knife on your baby brother!
Oh, my god!
No, wait!
Junior, no, no, wait!
Oh, god, please don't!
How could you hold a knife to your brother?
Don't, don't, don't.
Please, I'm sorry.
Oh, don't, please.
See what you made me do.
= you son of a bitch!
Give me those keys!
I want those keys!
Give me them!
Come on, you!
Give me those keys right now!
Ti want 'em!
St. Anthony, the dinapoli boys!
St. Anthony!
= oh!
Oh, my god, I'm so sorry.
Oh, junior, I'm so sorry.
Let me call the chubby checkers.
Oh, junior.
I'm so sorry, I'm sorry.
I got a little hungry.
Oh, my goodness.
I'm sorry too.
You're sorry too?
I'm sorry too.
Oh, my goodness, my baby brother, I'm so sorry.
Oh, my goodness.
I'm sorry too.
Oh, my goodness.
Oh, my goodness, I'm so sorry.
Sonny loffolotto, please.
Tell him you're my brother.
This is dom dinapoli's brother.
I need help.
He needs help.
Oh, please.
You're my baby brother.
I'm his baby brother.
Oh, god.
- Yeah, okay. - I'm sorry.
Boil some water.
Oh, god, I'm sorry. - Okay.
I'll see you.
I'm so sorry!
I'll see you soon.
Okay, thanks a lot.
I'm so sorry.
Why?
You gotta drink lots of hot water
and keep busy till they get here.
Okay.
Come on, come on.
Let's trot.
Let's trot to the bedroom and get dressed.
Trot.
Yes. = trot.
= come on.
Breathe deeply.
Come on!
Oh, god, trot.
I'm so sorry.
Oh, god!
Oh, they're here.
Dom?
Yeah.
Chubby checker.
Yeah, up here.
Oh, thank god you're here.
This is my brother.
Sonny loffolotto.
- Frank dinapoli. - Thank you so much.
How you doing?
= this is Oscar.
Oscar lapidus.
Frank dinapoli.
Nice to see you, frank.
We'll help you out, dommy.
Can I get you something, a nice cup of hot water?
Yeah, that'll be nice.
Yes, thank you.
Okay, everybody stop trotting.
Now why don't we all sit down and talk this over?
Okay.
Now, how can we help you, dom?
Let's talk about it.
I can't help myself.
I'm a flop, see.
I was in my bed.
I was lying down, and I was thinking about this girl.
I was gonna ask her out for a date this afternoon,
and I couldn't do it.
I couldn't do it, so I ran away.
I ran away to nino's, and I had a large pizza.
With pepperoni?
With everything.
Food, I can have, but not this girl, not this pretty girl.
I feel sorry for me.
If I didn't like her so much, I could ask her out.
She has everything a guy could want.
She is blonde.
She's catholic.
She's half Italian.
Junior, can I have some more hot water, please?
I had a cousin who was the same way, sal.
He just died.
He just died?
He just died.
He died?
Yeah.
The only thing that he could get involved with,
I mean really involved with, was a meal,
any food, any food of any kind, corn on the cob.
Right?
Didn't he love his corn, junior?
Yeah.
= his mother used to make extra
so he could have cold corn the next day.
Hmm, I love cold corn.
= t do too.
I don't like anything cold.
Ti don't like cold food.
Even fruit, I like room temperature.
You don't like a nice cold apple?
Yeah, I do.
I do like a cold apple, but apple pie, I like hot.
= with cold vanilla ice cream.
Did you ever have that with chocolate chip ice cream?
Sal introduced me to that.
Apple pie with chocolate chip ice cream.
Mmm.
I like.
= pardon.
Noodle pie with chocolate chip ice cream.
Pound cake with chocolate ice cream is good.
Ring dings and chocolate chip ice cream.
Wait, chocolate swirl ice cream, even better.
That's nothing.
Did you ever suck the jelly out of a jelly donut
and then fill it with chocolate swirl ice cream?
Mmm.
I like to stuff a jelly donut
with Reese's peanut butter cup then put it in a warm oven
and let the chocolate and everything melt into the dough.
Mmm.
How about peanut butter and jelly
on a chocolate covered Graham cracker?
With 10 layers of banana on top.
Can I have a little lemon in my water, please?
I make chocolate chip cookies with m&ms
instead of chocolate chip.
They don't melt in your hands.
Yeah.
Junior, can I have a little more lemon
in my hot water, please?
Mr. loffolotto, lemon?
= no.
I'd like a little fresh orange juice
squeezed in mine if you got it.
No, sorry.
Okay, then lemon.
At crone's,
they got chocolate-covered orange wedges.
The juice just dribbles down your chin.
Junior, could I have just a drop of honey in this, please?
Just a drop.
A wedge of the actual fruit is covered
with that thick dark chocolate, you know.
Oh, boy.
How'd you like to stuff one of them in a donut?
Mmm.
Get the honey, junior.
Give him the honey, junior.
It's in the cupboard, dom.
Well, get it.
What else do they cover with that chocolate?
I mean, besides the orange wedges.
Grapes, peaches?
Strawberries.
Junior, the honey.
Those big, juicy, stemmed strawberries
are dipped into that dark, dark chocolate.
Mmm.
Get the honey!
Get the honey.
No, dommy, no.
Yeah.
Yeah, you got that?
Dinapoli, 72 bleaker street, upstairs.
Yeah.
We're having a big party, hats and everything.
Oh, listen, can you throw in
a quart of butter pecan ice cream, please?
Right.
Oscar?
Hmm?
You like rocky road?
Mm-hmm.
One quart of rocky road.
Also, I need a quart of chocolate swirl.
Right.
Excuse me.
Make it two quarts of chocolate swirl, okay?
And you got jelly donuts?
Okay, and some custard ones too, right.
Okay, six jelly and three custard and six custard,
and nine jelly and six custard.
Right.
Ooh, and some chocolate-covered grahams.
Dom put up a pot of spaghetti first thing,
but the big guy couldn't wait,
so he ate my leftover lasagna frozen.
Then dom made a big pot of pasta.
He ate the whole thing himself, all of them.
Nobody shared.
Then what?
At one point, it got so frantic, the Jew bit his hand.
He thought it was halva.
The big guy ate a whole box of all-bran cereal.
Honest to god?
Honest to god.
Hey, I can't find my big carving knife.
= what's the matter?
They're gonna kill us.
They're not gonna kill us.
Are they?
God, why do they want me to be skinny?
I'm not so bad as I am.
Am I?
What happened to my chocolate-covered Graham cracker?
My mother liked me this way.
Oh, good.
Thanks, junior.
How the hell did they get spaghetti on the ceiling?
Hinky, what a nightmare.
Oh, I wanted something a little less expensive.
Excuse me, that pretty, blonde lady...
Oh, hi.
How are you?
Hi.
Could I talk to you?
Oh, sure, come on in.
I'll go and maybe come out later
and put those doors back up, okay?
I gotta go.
I found these caps on my downtown route the other day.
I'm gonna bring them over to al's
and see if he can make anything out of them.
Maybe candy dishes.
Candy dishes.
Yeah, maybe.
Is there anything else you want before I go?
No.
Okay.
No, thanks.
Well.
What?
Maybe a cup of weak tea.
Okay.
With just a drop of honey in it, just a drop,
a couple of plain soda crackers, a couple,
with some of antoinette's pineapple-apricot jelly,
for pectin.
It will settle my stomach.
And if there's any of that chocolate swirl ice cream...
Antoinette's pineapple-apricot jelly?
You wanna see what's left of the five jars
of antoinette"s delicious pineapple-apricot jelly?
Herel!
Here's another, here!
And soda crackers?
Here, here, here, here!
There's two boxes of soda crackers!
And what makes you think there's even one drop,
one drop of honey left?
You wanna know where I found the empty jar of honey?
Hanging upside down
on the statue of our lord Jesus Christ almighty!
It's me.
Can we come up?
Yeah, it's okay.
Filthy savage!
Guess who I ran into on the way to the store.
I thought being into antiques, maybe she'd like to see
some of the stuff that Frankie got off the truck, huh.
Oh, sure, I can, sure.
I'd be happy to show you some...
Let's get this stuff.
Let's get rid of this stuff.
I'm gonna get rid of this stuff.
Let's get rid of this stuff.
It's so heavy, this stuff.
You got that stuff.
I got the stuff.
I'm sorry you don't feel so good.
= thanks.
I brought you a present.
= thanks.
It smells like buttered beets.
Oh.
It's, it's that thing.
The candle snuffer outer.
Right, instead of blowing.
Ti love it.
Did my sister tell you why I don't feel good?
Yes.
Oh, please, don't feel bad.
Everybody falls.
It's the second time since sal died,
the second time in a week.
Christ fell three times, and he was Christ.
Would you go to St. Anthony's bazaar with me
Sunday afternoon?
Oh, sure.
Then maybe afterwards,
we can go to Chinatown and have a meal or two.
I know a great restaurant on pell street.
Win long fat?
Yeah.
How'd you know that?
I always go there.
They got the best Chinese sausage and narcissus bulbs.
Chinese sausage and narcissus bulbs?
That, I never had.
Hey!
You won.
What do you want?
How you doing, father?
Hey, dom!
Father Monohan, this is...
Oh, the father and I know each other.
Lydia.
Lydia was in my parish in Brooklyn.
Come on, little Joe!
You got it, father, right there.
Bollowenski.
= bollo what?
My last name, bollowenski.
Lydia bollowenski.
Dom, you won the big one.
My brother won the big one!
Oh, gee.
Oh, dom.
Yih.
You still
when somebody's mouth was on something.
Wait till you have kids.
You'll see, you'll eat it anyway.
I can't help it.
I don't like anybody's wet spit on my food.
I.
Antoinette was already married when my mother died,
and somebody had to take care of junior.
After antoinette, my mother lost two babies, two boys.
= oh.
They both died before they were two years old.
Oh, your poor mother, what she must have gone through.
And then you were born.
She must have worried plenty about you.
= all her life.
Yeah, my mother went to the movies every Wednesday
and she got a whole set of dishes that way.
So why don't we meet at the 10 o'clock mass tomorrow
instead of the nine, okay?
Okay.
Maybe the 11 o'clock mass would be better.
No, that's the high mass.
Are you a virgin?
= almost.
You know why?
Because even though he was Jewish,
he reminded me of Tony who was...
Who was Italian.
You can really see through them.
The left one is still a little cockeyed.
Where did you get 'em, off one of the trucks?
= the wall street district.
Here, look.
What you eating?
Skim cottage cheese on saltines
with a little cinnamon on top.
Tastes like mamas manicotti.
With a little cinnamon on top.
Hey, how do I look?
I gotta look good tonight.
Oh, it's nuts.
You got no ass.
Where's your ass?
How'd you lose all that weight?
= t don't know.
I wasn't even trying.
I think it's Lydia.
Boy, girls are powerful.
But what am I gonna do?
I got nothing to wear.
Where are you going tonight, antoinette's to play cards?
= no.
I'm not going to antoinette's.
I'm not playing cards tonight.
Why?
What is it?
An antique.
Jt is?
Apatite and marcasite, Lydia's favorite.
Jt is?
It's an engagement ring.
= it ain't.
= it is.
= come on.
I'm gonna find you something to where.
Right?
Come on.
There's plenty of old clothes in this big closet.
Yeah.
Does antoinette know?
No!
I wouldn't tell big mouth until after Lydia said yes.
Oh, geez, I don't know nothing.
No, no, no, I can't use,
those are papa's old pants.
Ti don't want them.
It looks great.
= no.
It looks great.
It doesn't look great.
But I gotta call Lydia...
It looks great.
And tell her that I'm gonna be late.
Hey, you guys playing cards or not?
We couldn't wait.
We started already.
So when are you coming?
Vito's winning a boy inside a man.
Son of a bitch, he's won every pot so far.
You hear him?
Hey, what am I, talking to the walls or what?
Okay, okay, we're coming.
We'll be right down.
So?
She don't answer.
What's going on here?
I'm going down there right now.
Lydia?
Lydia.
Lydia?
Lydia!
No, it's Lydia bollowenski.
Okay, thanks.
And if she does come in, would you call me at Watkins five.
You can't beat me!
Shut up!
J it was just one of those crazy plays
oh, you can't call people.
J a trip to the moon j
I already called the police twice.
She can't take it.
Look at her face, she can't take it.
I already called the morgue.
J well, it was just one of those things j
yeah, thanks.
Thanks a lot.
J a trip to the moon j
j it was just one of those things j
j it was just one of those nights j
shut up!
What the hell's the matter with her?
Ida, come on, sit here.
Sit here ida. Take this chair.
It's a good chair for you.
= wait a minute.
Why don't I get the food for you people?
Oh, good, good.
That's a terrific idea, dommy.
Where'd you order?
Chinks, win long fat's.
- Alright. - Another one, I win again!
St. Anthony, god bless you.
Here, take my car.
'52 Pontiac.
Yeah, it's old, but it's better than the subway.
We got a lot of stuff tonight, dommy.
Yeah, we thought Tessie was coming.
Four orders of spare ribs, four orders of fried dumplings,
four orders of lobster and black bean sauce,
six orders of pork lo mein,
four orders of sweet and sour duck,
four orders of chicken with almonds,
two dozen almond cookies.
That smells good.
What's that?
The Chinese sausage and narcissus bulbs.
Chinese sausage and narcissus bulbs.
They said it was $40.
Right, right.
Okay, and that's for you.
Oh, Lydia.
But where, where?
I called everything.
No sign of him.
You called all the hospitals? = yeah.
You called the police? = yeah.
- You called Lydia's? - Yeah.
= go back to bed.
No, give me a kiss.
You called Lydia's shop?
Yeah.
= go to bed.
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.
Alright, alright, relax.
Relax.
I don't know, I don't know!
I don't know.
Alright, alright, relax.
I don't know what to do.
Alright, relax, it will be alright.
I'm going out to look for him myself!
Where are you gonna go?
It's two o'clock in the morning.
Come on.
= what the hell is this?
Hey, Charlie, ain't these the keys to your.
Yeah.
This is the keys to your.
Then where the hell is dom?
Hey, antoinette, we're gonna go.
Thanks a lot for everything.
The sandwiches were wonderful.
Come on, let's go.
What the hell is going on here?
Antoinette, everything was great.
Good salami, good capocollo, good provolone.
I know what you did, you son of a bitch!
You son of a bitch!
Bastard, bitch, bastard, rat!
Dirty rat bastard!
You bastard!
Stinking, stinking rat bastard!
You stinking bastard! You stink on ice!
Antoinette stop!
Mama, mama, what did uncle dom do?
= did he do a murder?
No, no, sweetheart.
He didn't do a murder.
It's alright, darling.
Come on, don't worry about it.
Alright, sweetheart, alright.
= t ate it all.
I'm sorry.
You're sorry?
You eat $40 worth of Chinese food and you're sorry?
You scared the living shit out of everybody
and you're sorry?
You ruin a Sunday night and you're sorry?
He said he was sorry.
Well, I'm sorry too.
I gotta speak my piece.
How long has this guy been doing this to us, huh?
And it's getting worse.
It's not getting any better, mister.
It's getting worse!
The more you try to help him, the worse it gets!
I mean, it's like he's sick.
You know what I mean?
Sick.
You got crazy blood in your brains.
I don't know, dommy.
I don't know what to do anymore.
I don't know what to do anymore for you, dommy.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I don't know myself anymore, antoinette.
Maybe I am crazy.
Ti don't know.
Do crazy people hate themselves?
For a while, with Lydia, I was alright.
I was doing good.
But then tonight, I didn't know where she was
or what happened to her.
She didn't call or nothing.
I'm trying to blame that darling Lydia
for what I did tonight.
I'm trying to find an excuse for what I did.
I'm always trying to find an excuse for eating.
Like when sal died, that was a great excuse.
But I don't need an excuse.
T have to eat!
When I eat, I'm me.
Like when I was a kid, it felt more natural
when I was eating and eating and eating and eating!
Mama started it all.
How she loved to feed me.
How you loved to feed me, huh.
But look what you did.
Look at me, ma.
Look at your chubby baby now.
I'm a lousy, fat, fat man.
And that's what you made me, a damn fatso!
You like it?
I'm 40 years old and I can't stop.
I can't stop the fat, ma, and it's killing me!
Oh, mama.
Oh, mama, mama, mama.
Ti don't blame mama.
She did what she thought was best.
Besides, I'm a grown man.
I should be able to control myself.
But if I don't,
if I end up a fatso the rest of my life,
you guys have got to love me the way I am,
fat.
You gotta love me for who I am.
And so do I.
So do I.
Yes.
Yes, yes.
What happened?
Who was it?
It was Lydia, sweet Lydia, Lydia bollowenski.
She's in Boston, an emergency.
Her brother chopped his finger off.
They couldn't find it for 15 minutes.
It fell on a freezer.
He's in a coma.
She tried to call me, you know.
She's been at the hospital all day.
Her brother lost so much blood,
they thought he was gonna die.
Lydia had to give him a pint.
This is the first moment she's had to call.
She asked me to go up there and help her through all this.
She wants me.
Junior, I'd like you to meet Dominick dinapoli,
the most wonderful man in the world.
He came all the way up here to help us.
Dom, I'd like you to meet my brother, frank bollowenski, Jr.
How do you do?
I think he's out like a light.
He's been doing that
ever since he came back from recovery.
He's awake, then he's out like a light.
But the surgeon said he's gonna be alright.
Oh, dom.
God bless you for coming.
I love you.
= t do too.
Come on, let's take a walk around, okay?
Okay.
Dr. O'Malley, the north wing nurse station
oh the second floor.
Dr. O'Malley.
Wanna get some breakfast?
You must be starved.
Nah, I had a big Chinese meal last night.
Oh, what'd you have?
Oh, everything.
Oh, yes.